I remember having this convo with a friend once. Not why do you cry/what makes you cry, but do you cry often? She said quite often, about once a month, at the same time as I said, not very often, maybe once a month! Yesterday I cried when I caught up with a friend who told me the beautiful story of his mother's death; a death at home, surrounded by those who loved her, and how in the last weeks of her life he had so much opportunity to resolve things in their relationship. I cried for myself too, hoping I get to have something so beautiful with my parents. I often cry at therapy, for my wounded child-self. I think, with something like your sister's death, the grief is so immense, there might be a fear that once you start crying you might not be able to stop?
Yes. I think that’s true. Crying is a positive and lots of people don’t know that. I do wonder on the evolutionary advantage of crying? Why I happens?
It’s the small detail that hooks me into tears. I found a birthday card in her recent things and it was a 1974 card. I know it was for me as my bday was a month after she died. Seeing that card waiting unwritten for a world beyond her mortal being really cut. Shit like that makes me profoundly sad.
Who is Meg is a big question. One of husband’s friends is a psych and her first question was ‘Did you find out anything about her after she died that you didn’t know’ I said no at the time. But I’ve since discovered a lot that’s hard to process. X
Such a beautiful reflection, I sat with it a long time, I thought of my own youngest son who was always was an old soul , now a young man deeply exploring justice and inclusion.
I wondered about how few cannon balls sit on my shelf knowing full well there is stack of them waiting ,each one growing bigger and heavier every day.
I'm an Aussie white man of my age, I rarely cry but I'm learning, the older I get the easier it is, mostly triggered by frustration at my increasing limitations , .
Hmm. Who is Meg? That's the clue I'd follow.
I remember having this convo with a friend once. Not why do you cry/what makes you cry, but do you cry often? She said quite often, about once a month, at the same time as I said, not very often, maybe once a month! Yesterday I cried when I caught up with a friend who told me the beautiful story of his mother's death; a death at home, surrounded by those who loved her, and how in the last weeks of her life he had so much opportunity to resolve things in their relationship. I cried for myself too, hoping I get to have something so beautiful with my parents. I often cry at therapy, for my wounded child-self. I think, with something like your sister's death, the grief is so immense, there might be a fear that once you start crying you might not be able to stop?
Yes. I think that’s true. Crying is a positive and lots of people don’t know that. I do wonder on the evolutionary advantage of crying? Why I happens?
It’s the small detail that hooks me into tears. I found a birthday card in her recent things and it was a 1974 card. I know it was for me as my bday was a month after she died. Seeing that card waiting unwritten for a world beyond her mortal being really cut. Shit like that makes me profoundly sad.
Who is Meg is a big question. One of husband’s friends is a psych and her first question was ‘Did you find out anything about her after she died that you didn’t know’ I said no at the time. But I’ve since discovered a lot that’s hard to process. X
Such a beautiful reflection, I sat with it a long time, I thought of my own youngest son who was always was an old soul , now a young man deeply exploring justice and inclusion.
I wondered about how few cannon balls sit on my shelf knowing full well there is stack of them waiting ,each one growing bigger and heavier every day.
I'm an Aussie white man of my age, I rarely cry but I'm learning, the older I get the easier it is, mostly triggered by frustration at my increasing limitations , .
I think I would like to cry at the god stuff.♾️💓
Oh Ian. Thank you for sharing. I so appreciate. I can also relate to the limitations. It’s so frustrating. X